The libation: On what would have been the author’s 124th birthday, we bring you something R’lyeh, e’speciallyeh delicious. Combine 2oz Kraken dark rum, 1oz elder(gods)flower liqueur, 1oz fresh lime juice (the green, sticky spawn of the stars), and a dash or two of Angostura bitters. Recite the incantation (Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn) while shaking with ice. Serve in a rocks glass, garnish with a tentacle twist of lime.

Pair with a dinner of odori-don, if you’re feeling brave in the face of the indifferent universe. And please, summon the Great Old Ones responsibly.

Photo © Mike McCune

Anonymous said: canadian whiskey


Sorry, what was the question?

11 notes

The literature: David Foster Wallace’s A SUPPOSEDLY FUN THING I’LL NEVER DO AGAIN

The libation: Absinthe. Mistakes were made.

We’re not serving you absinthe. We’re not serving anybody absinthe. We can’t even look at absinthe. We can’t even look at the color green. We’re going to serve ourselves a bacon, egg, and cheese, and go back to bed for a couple days.

Photo © jb

The literature: Herman Melville’s BARTLEBY, THE SCRIVENER

The libation: Sir? Sir. Sir, please. Just a yes or no! It’s the easiest thing in the world! Do you want a drink or not? Hello?

Sir, this is trying my patience. If you’re not going to order I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Seriously. A beer, wine? A cocktail? We have excellent cocktails. Do you like whiskey? Gin? Absinthe? Do you like anything? I could crush up some SSRIs and sprinkle them on top - that might help.

[snaps fingers in front of face]

Okay, I can’t deal with this. Security!

The literature: Jennifer Egan’s A VISIT FROM THE GOON SQUAD (requested by ladydei)

The libation: For this fragmented novel (or is it a cohesive collection of linked short stories), we’re serving you a deconstructed Bloody Mary (or is it another cocktail entirely?). Much like the book, it is exacting and requires your attention, but is ultimately rewarding.

Infuse 2oz good vodka with three (3) peppercorns overnight. Procure 1oz celery juice through whatever methods you must, but tell no one how you came by it. Juice a lime for a total of 3/4oz juice (no more, no less).

Run the rind of the lime around the rim of a martini glass and dip the glass in tomato salt (in the future we will all have pocket food dehydrators - go to town on some tomatoes and mix with salt to taste). Shake all the liquid ingredients with ice 23.5 times and pour. Garnish with gold flakes (optional but recommended).

Powerpoints at the ready? Good. Bottoms up.

Photo © Lemon Tree

The literature: EL James’ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

The libation: Have your cat o’ nine (cock)tails handy - we’re going in.

We know it’s your first time, so we won’t be too rough on you.


We’re going to instruct you on how to make a Cherry Smash, so listen carefully. Muddle a few maraschino cherries at the bottom of a rocks glass. Don’t be shy, really get in there and go to town on them. Add ice, for the shock of it. In a cocktail shaker, shake 1oz Jack Daniels, 1oz cherry juice, 0.5oz amaretto, and 0.5oz ginger brandy (for spice). Pour over the ice and cherries, and then top with cherry cola (something something Lana Del Rey something) and stir.

In this Red Room, you’ll be feeling no pain.

Or, for those of you who’re a little more experienced, our friends over at learningmixology have suggested iced Earl Gray tea mixed with bruised peach simple syrup and bourbon, garnished with hand-slapped mint leaves. We’ll give that our spank of approval.

Photo © Tastebook

misskim said: This is everything I have ever wanted and needed in life.

We live to serve. *bows*

12 notes

coldicehotwater said: ☺️


0 notes

obsessivereaderandwriter said: The Night Circus, perhaps, if it's not already been done?

Watch this space, dear friend…

The literature: emmastraub's THE VACATIONERS

The libation: We here at Proof Reading firmly believe that no family vacation should be endured without the strategic application of some local liquor. And when in Mallorca, do as the Mallorcans do. Palo de Mallorca was initially brewed as an herbal curative for malaria in the 1600s, but as time went on, the islanders started adding alcohol and using it more for - well, let’s just call it self-medication.

Pour a small measure over ice and sip by the pool as your family works out their issues back in the hotel room - after all, you can only drink Palo on Mallorca, but your family is your family no matter where you go.