The literature: emilystjohnmandel's STATION ELEVEN

The libation: After the collapse of civilization, what drink would you miss most? Surely you can scavenge plenty of wine and whiskey that’s kept perfect well (and even aged nicely) in basements and pantries - you could even make yourself a hot toddy with it, warmed over the fire.

But just think - you’ll never drink an ice-cold beer again. Want some citrus to mix with the last of your vodka? Unless you’re in Florida or California, you’re SOL. After the ants get to the granulated sugar, you can’t even make simple syrup. Bloody Mary? Sure, if you’ve got the tomatoes, but where are you gonna find Worcestershire sauce?

Of course, it’s not all bad - there’s fresh fruit when you can get it, and preserves, once you’ve figured out how to can produce without giving everyone lead poisoning. You can set up a still, teach yourself to make beer and wine and liquor. But those tiny luxuries - bitters, liqueurs, ice in the middle of summer? They’ve gone for good.

So raise one final glass to our opulent age, before the flu comes. Pour an old-fashioned, while you still have a choice in whether or not to be. Moisten a sugar cube (it comes in cubes!) with 2-3 dashes of Angostura bitters (they still make that!) in the bottom of a glass. Stir till the sugar’s dissolved, and add 2oz good spicy rye and a laughably huge ice cube (ready whenever you are). Garnish with orange peel, imported just for you from the farthest corners of the country. Stir, inhale, enjoy.

Survival, as they say, is insufficient.

Photo © Punch

The literature: Steve Almond’s AGAINST FOOTBALL

The libation: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? Then grab the chips, clear the couch, crack open an ice cold Bud Light® (official sponsor of the NFL!)…

…and pour it directly down the toilet. Neither watch football nor drink Bud Light® until the NFL figures its shit out, Jesus.

Photo © elvissa

The literature: Yann Martel’s LIFE OF PI (requested by theinfinitespaceage)

The libation: Two cocktails do I present to you, dear reader, and you must choose the one which speaks to you of the existence of a higher, more refreshing power.

For the first, rim your vessel with sea salt. Fill about halfway with Sixpoint Bengali IPA, and top up with grapefruit juice. Stir gently and deliberately until the seemingly at-odds flavors meld together into a peaceful coexistence. You’ve left home. This is the Salty Tiger.

For the second, rim your vessel with kosher salt (the vessel is unchanged, the location is). Mix two parts grapefruit juice with one part blanco tequila with two parts tonic water. Add a dash of bitters and stir. You’re on dry land. This is the Salty Perro.

The same ingredients recombined can lead to such different outcomes, but we must each choose our own path. I leave it to you to decide.

Photo © Cook the Story and Serious Eats

proofreadingbooks:

The literature: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s AMERICANAH

The libation: Were you so impressed by Adichie’s TEDx Talk sampled in Beyoncé’s “Flawless” that you ran out to buy yourself a copy of her most recent novel, AMERICANAH? Of course you were. For Adichie, Bey, yourself, us, and every amazing woman, there’s the Good Food Stories' Dirty Shirley, because you're a grown woman (uh-huh) - you can do whatever you want:

  • 1.5oz vodka
  • 3/4oz homemade grenadine (heat 2 cups pomegranate juice & 1 cup sugar in a pan, stirring until sugar is dissoved. Reduce heat to low & simmer until reduced by half, then cool. We know you never waste a drip.)
  • 1/2oz cherry Heering liquer
  • 1 can 7-Up
  • 4-6 sour cherries soaked overnight in 1/3 cup grenadine

Stir together vodka, grenadine, & Heering, then divide between two small glasses filled with ice. Top up each glass with 7-Up and stir again. Garnish with cherries. Raise a toast to your Obinze or Jay and then get drunk in love and turn that cherry out.

Pink is the flavor. Bow down, bitches.

Photo © GFS

Just over here reblogging ourselves, because good lord, Beyoncé:

The literature: NECRONOMICON: THE TALES OF H.P. LOVECRAFT

The libation: On what would have been the author’s 124th birthday, we bring you something R’lyeh, e’speciallyeh delicious. Combine 2oz Kraken dark rum, 1oz elder(gods)flower liqueur, 1oz fresh lime juice (the green, sticky spawn of the stars), and a dash or two of Angostura bitters. Recite the incantation (Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn) while shaking with ice. Serve in a rocks glass, garnish with a tentacle twist of lime.

Pair with a dinner of odori-don, if you’re feeling brave in the face of the indifferent universe. And please, summon the Great Old Ones responsibly.

Photo © Mike McCune

Anonymous said: canadian whiskey

Yes.

Sorry, what was the question?

12 notes

The literature: David Foster Wallace’s A SUPPOSEDLY FUN THING I’LL NEVER DO AGAIN

The libation: Absinthe. Mistakes were made.

We’re not serving you absinthe. We’re not serving anybody absinthe. We can’t even look at absinthe. We can’t even look at the color green. We’re going to serve ourselves a bacon, egg, and cheese, and go back to bed for a couple days.

Photo © jb

The literature: Herman Melville’s BARTLEBY, THE SCRIVENER

The libation: Sir? Sir. Sir, please. Just a yes or no! It’s the easiest thing in the world! Do you want a drink or not? Hello?

Sir, this is trying my patience. If you’re not going to order I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Seriously. A beer, wine? A cocktail? We have excellent cocktails. Do you like whiskey? Gin? Absinthe? Do you like anything? I could crush up some SSRIs and sprinkle them on top - that might help.

[snaps fingers in front of face]

Okay, I can’t deal with this. Security!

The literature: Jennifer Egan’s A VISIT FROM THE GOON SQUAD (requested by ladydei)

The libation: For this fragmented novel (or is it a cohesive collection of linked short stories), we’re serving you a deconstructed Bloody Mary (or is it another cocktail entirely?). Much like the book, it is exacting and requires your attention, but is ultimately rewarding.

Infuse 2oz good vodka with three (3) peppercorns overnight. Procure 1oz celery juice through whatever methods you must, but tell no one how you came by it. Juice a lime for a total of 3/4oz juice (no more, no less).

Run the rind of the lime around the rim of a martini glass and dip the glass in tomato salt (in the future we will all have pocket food dehydrators - go to town on some tomatoes and mix with salt to taste). Shake all the liquid ingredients with ice 23.5 times and pour. Garnish with gold flakes (optional but recommended).

Powerpoints at the ready? Good. Bottoms up.

Photo © Lemon Tree

The literature: EL James’ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

The libation: Have your cat o’ nine (cock)tails handy - we’re going in.

We know it’s your first time, so we won’t be too rough on you.

Yet.

We’re going to instruct you on how to make a Cherry Smash, so listen carefully. Muddle a few maraschino cherries at the bottom of a rocks glass. Don’t be shy, really get in there and go to town on them. Add ice, for the shock of it. In a cocktail shaker, shake 1oz Jack Daniels, 1oz cherry juice, 0.5oz amaretto, and 0.5oz ginger brandy (for spice). Pour over the ice and cherries, and then top with cherry cola (something something Lana Del Rey something) and stir.

In this Red Room, you’ll be feeling no pain.

Or, for those of you who’re a little more experienced, our friends over at learningmixology have suggested iced Earl Gray tea mixed with bruised peach simple syrup and bourbon, garnished with hand-slapped mint leaves. We’ll give that our spank of approval.

Photo © Tastebook