The literature: EL James’ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

The libation: Have your cat o’ nine (cock)tails handy - we’re going in.

We know it’s your first time, so we won’t be too rough on you.

Yet.

We’re going to instruct you on how to make a Cherry Smash, so listen carefully. Muddle a few maraschino cherries at the bottom of a rocks glass. Don’t be shy, really get in there and go to town on them. Add ice, for the shock of it. In a cocktail shaker, shake 1oz Jack Daniels, 1oz cherry juice, 0.5oz amaretto, and 0.5oz ginger brandy (for spice). Pour over the ice and cherries, and then top with cherry cola (something something Lana Del Rey something) and stir.

In this Red Room, you’ll be feeling no pain.

Or, for those of you who’re a little more experienced, our friends over at learningmixology have suggested iced Earl Gray tea mixed with bruised peach simple syrup and bourbon, garnished with hand-slapped mint leaves. We’ll give that our spank of approval.

Photo © Tastebook

misskim said: This is everything I have ever wanted and needed in life.

We live to serve. *bows*

12 notes

coldicehotwater said: ☺️

📖🍸😍

0 notes

obsessivereaderandwriter said: The Night Circus, perhaps, if it's not already been done?

Watch this space, dear friend…

The literature: emmastraub's THE VACATIONERS

The libation: We here at Proof Reading firmly believe that no family vacation should be endured without the strategic application of some local liquor. And when in Mallorca, do as the Mallorcans do. Palo de Mallorca was initially brewed as an herbal curative for malaria in the 1600s, but as time went on, the islanders started adding alcohol and using it more for - well, let’s just call it self-medication.

Pour a small measure over ice and sip by the pool as your family works out their issues back in the hotel room - after all, you can only drink Palo on Mallorca, but your family is your family no matter where you go.

The literature: Richard Adams’ WATERSHIP DOWN

The libation: We here at Proof Reading believe that classics should never, ever be boring. Watership Down has certainly never run that risk - a violent epic about politics and religion among rabbits is a perennial crowd-pleaser, as you might expect - and so we’re pairing it with a classic dry martini, with a botanic twist.

Combine 2.5oz dry gin and .5oz dry vermouth in a shaker with ice, shake, and strain into a martini glass. From your garden, pluck a couple chive blossoms. Rinse them and pat dry gently, then set them adrift on your martini. After the drink is gone, you’ll have a lovely boozy/savory snack, redolent of the countryside on a late spring day.

One more suggestion, if we may - if you plan on having more than one, eat something substantial. No rabbit food.

Photo © Mama

bookriot:

Who or what bookish tumblrs should you be following? We’ve got a boatload of suggestions.

We’re honored to make bookriot's list of best bookish Tumblrs! Cheers to you, old sports.

bookriot:

Who or what bookish tumblrs should you be following? We’ve got a boatload of suggestions.

We’re honored to make bookriot's list of best bookish Tumblrs! Cheers to you, old sports.

162 notes

The literature: Alice Munro’s DEAR LIFE

The libation: Canada Day was last week, but in our humble opinion, it should really be celebrated on Alice Munro’s birthday. The Great White North’s Grand Dame of the Short Story is 83 today, and in her honor, we’re serving up a Maple Leaf cocktail.

Pour 2oz Canadian whiskey (Canadian Club, Crown Royal, or Seagrams will all do you just fine), 1oz fresh lemon juice, 3/4oz pure maple syrup (NOT maple-flavored high fructose corn syrup - I will hunt you down if you use the fake stuff), and a dash of cinnamon into a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake well and strain into a glass (straight up or over ice, up to you).

Cheers to you, Alice, and happy birthday. Here’s to many more long years for the short story.

Photo © K&K

The literature: italicsmine's CALIFORNIA

The libation: So society has crumbled and you’re living in a shack in the woods of inland California with your somewhat taciturn lover. Good for you! Nice hustle. Once you’ve gotten through that first rough winter and are starting to feel comfortable living out in the wild, brew yourself a nice reward.

On a quiet day in late summer, pick as many ripe huckleberries as you can carry home, turning the front of your t-shirt into a makeshift bowl when you run out of room in your bucket. Wash one cup of the berries, mash them, and dump them into a quart jar. Add in 4 tbsp of raw honey (your lover suffered a fair few bee-stings obtaining it, so don’t let it go to waste) and fill the jar the rest of the way with the vodka you bartered for from the man with the horse and cart who passes by every now and again. Shake it well, and store it in a dark, cool place.

After a month, strain out the berries, and replace the jar to brew for another month or so. In midwinter, when you’re in dire need of a reminder that warm weather and relative ease will return, break out the cordial, and remember the sun on your face. Use in a cocktail if you can find the other ingredients - your kingdom for a bottle of bitters - or just sip as is.

(Just please, for everybody’s peace of mind - be absolutely sure you’re not pregnant before you do so.)

Photo © SFW

The literature: emilygould’s FRIENDSHIP

The libation: As far as your sommelier knows, there is no vineyard producing wine under the Tired of Your Bullshit label, which is a shame, as so much of the internet would be raising a glass of Over It cab sauv after this week if there were. But until one of you perfect creatures buys some prime land in the Napa Valley, let’s all kick back with a Misandry Margarita.

First, rim your glass with salt you’ve assiduously harvested from men’s tears. Add 1.5oz blanco tequila, 3/4oz Cointreau, 3/4oz lime juice, and 1 tsp agave nectar to a cocktail shaker and shake well with ice, preferably while dancing around your apartment to Bikini Kill. If you prefer your margarita on the rocks, remove the diamonds left at your feet by your male admirers from the freezer and drop a few into the glass. Pour and garnish with a lime wedge, signifying your eternal bitterness. Sip while using one of your male slaves as a footrest.

Photo © Punch